|
Yes, Ma'am
by Tom Woodard
There was a time when, all over this nation, phrases like "yes, Ma'am", "no Ma'am", "please", and "thank you", were not only common-place but a sign of proper upbringing. Gone are those days in the North and West, but, thank God, these traditions, just like cornbread, turnip greens and sweet ice tea, remain in the South. Even in the South, however, parents are allowing their children to address them with "yeah" or "what", and to get what they want without a "please" or a "thank you" This is yet another sign of the decline in the standards by which we hold ourselves and our youngsters, and it bodes ill not just for the society in which we live but for our children and grandchildren.
Consider the impression it makes upon your child's teacher when he or she answers her with a "yes, Ma'am" or "no, Ma'am", or when they say "please" and "thank you" when asking Grandma for a cookie. It's not just the words - not by a long shot! No, it is a valuable and time-honored way, and a very effective way, of teaching them priceless, timeless lessons in respect, appreciation, manners, conduct, and a positive attitude. It is a way, also, of valuing our Southern heritage and honoring our ancestors, who would certainly be appalled to hear a child address someone any other way.
I recall when Garth Brooks first gained fame - before he got too big for his britches and forgot his raisin' - he appeared on "The Today Show" and was interviewed by a then young Katie Couric. Every time he answered a question, it was "Yes, Ma'am" or "No, Ma'am"! Now, those "Today" show folks thought it was quaint and country, but it was very obvious that they were genuinely impressed with this young Southern boy's manners! No matter what anyone may say to the contrary, they are impressed by good manners. And good manners will help get you where you want to go in life. It's a simple fact, and remains a fact no matter how much folks want to deny it. Who're you gonna hire, a young man who says "yes, Sir" or one who says "yeah". Sort of a no-brainer, ain't it?
I taught these mannerly words to my daughters, and now my baby girl is teaching them to her children - and I am so proud she is! The benefit to those little ones as they go through life, just from knowing those few "magic" phrases, is incalculable, but will doubtless be great. And I pray that when it comes their time to be parents, they'll teach these same time-honored Southern traditions to their children.
I'll tell you how I've come to use those words of respect and appreciation in such a way that I seldom fail to use them: I not only say "Yes, Ma'am" etc, to my elders, but to the eighteen year old waitress at the restaurant, or the twenty year old clerk in the convenience store, and when that little girl in the restaurant asks me if I'd like some more ice tea, I'll smile and say "Yes, Ma'am, please". Then, when she fills the glass, I'll follow up with "Thank you". Now what did that cost me? Nothing! But it makes her feel good, I'm sure, to know that I appreciate her and respect her. Who knows, her last customer may have been rude to her, hurt her feelings, or failed to leave her a tip. Perhaps she needed a little "pick me up". And how much nicer than if I just stuck my glass in her face, wordless and without acknowledging her value as a person, to get that refill. You know, rudeness not only hurts the one to whom you are rude; it hurts you, too!
Now just think how nice it sounds when a child answers you with a "Yes, Sir" or "No, Sir"! Doesn't it make you feel good? And doesn't it impress you what a nice little boy or girl they are? Of course it does! And such mannerly responses instill a positive attitude in you as well. Same way when you use those words: not only will you make the person you are addressing feel better, but you will feel better, too. Good manners make for a good attitude in the person you are talking to and a good attitude in you! Good manners are like medicine for the soul, and what better way to show them than by saying "yes, Ma'am", "yes, Sir", "please" and "thank you"! And like barbeque ribs, homemade peach ice cream, and sweet ice tea, it's a Southern tradition. Southern tradition includes good manners, and showing respect for others, regardless of their age or background.
And here's the clincher: Using good manners, and addressing folks in a respectful way is a very inexpensive means of being a channel of blessing. The best part is, when we bless others, in ways large or small, like saying "yes, Ma'am", we are ourselves blessed as well. Quite a dividend for something that costs us nothing at all! Yes, Sir, it's the way to be!
Thank you, Sir. Thank you, Ma'am.
Copyright June 27th, 2008, by Tom Woodard
Back to Index Reflections  |