When I was a juvenile judge, one of the most pervasive things with which I was confronted was this statement: "That (teacher, principal, cop, store owner, employer, judge, etc) gonna respect my child!" And this from parents whose child was in juvenile court for disrespecting, totally, that adult individual, usually a person in a position of authority, referred to in that statement! I soon learned that the old teaching, which goes all the way back to the Scriptures - Old and New Testaments - and which was practically universal when I was a child, to respect your elders, your parents, your teachers, your principal, all persons in positions of authority - in fact, all adults - was out the window. Instead, parents were, and still are, teaching their children to "make that teacher (or whatever other adult/authority figure) respect you."

This is being taught to children as young as kindergarteners! As a consequence, many children today have no concept of respecting their elders, beginning at home. They have an attitude that they are due respect, without having or exhibiting respect to others. This is amazing beyond words but, unfortunately, quite common in today's society. Thus, the child who has been properly instructed or directed by a teacher, rather than endeavoring to comply and obey, takes offense at the "dissing" they are receiving from the teacher. With this attitude in hand, they then feel righteously justified in openly defying, cursing, even threatening or assaulting, that adult authority figure.

And then, when the child is hauled into juvenile court, there stand the parents, at the bench and in front of the child, telling the judge "That teacher gonna respect my child," with absolutely no cognizance of the child's wrongdoing and having, in fact, the attitude that the child was justified in whatever wrongdoing they engaged in, and should receive no punishment or consequences for their actions or words, because the teacher (principal, employer, etc) didn't respect the child.

The culmination of that crazy, upside down view of respect was the recent attack, in her classroom, upon a teacher by one of her students, and the school authorities' statement thereafter that the teacher was at fault and brought it upon herself by stating that if assaulted by this student she would defend herself! In other words, she deserved it for "dissing" the student!!! Is it any wonder, then, that we have such a lack of any sense of responsibility on the part of so many young people in America today? No, when everything that a child does wrong is attributed by the parents to someone else, and the child is taught neither responsibility nor consequences for their own conduct. The result is disrespect and chaos in the classroom, on the streets, in the home, and in the workplace. 

Respect works like this, young people and parents:

RESPECT IS DUE:

Anyone who is your elder, no matter how old you are or
how young they are           

Your parents and grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc  

Teachers and principals

Lunchroom workers, janitors, bus drivers

Law enforcement officials, judicial officials, office holders, etc

Employers, supervisors, foremen, co-workers with seniority

Pastors, deacons, sunday school teachers

RESPECT IS EARNED:

By children

By teenagers

By anyone who is younger than another person in any situation

By employees

By students

By anyone under the authority of another person

When I was young, if a child got a whipping at school, they'd likely get another one when they got home. Nowadays, if a child gets a whipping, or even receives any form of discipline, at school, the parent is up in arms, threatening to whip the teacher and the principal, sue the school board, etc, and demanding that the teacher be fired. When they do this, they demonstrably teach their children that they have no responsibility for their own actions and that they should bear no consequences for their inappropriate words or conduct.

Then, when that child engages in drug or alcohol use, or criminal conduct, and ends up in prison, the parents say "That (cop, judge, lawyer, etc) is crooked" or "They just discriminatin' against my child." Even if they acknowledge, at that late date, any responsibility at all, they'll likely say something like "I just don't know where that boy went wrong." Well, don't you? Can you really be that ignorant? Is it any wonder that we have so many people in prison or wasted on drugs, so many illegitimate children and dead-beat so-called fathers, so many young people abusing and stealing from their own parents and grandparents?

Why don't we get back to the real world? Why don't we get back to teaching the time-honored and proven lessons which will lead a child, teen, or young adult to a life of productivity, success, happiness, and proper appreciation for their role as a member of a larger whole? Let's get back to the time-honored teaching that one is to respect their elders and persons in positions of authority, and that if one, as a child or young adult, wants respect, they have to earn it by their good conduct and by honoring others. Those who do this will give their children a real chance at life. There are no guarantees, but at least they'll have a decent chance! 

Copyright June 26th, 2008, by Tom Woodard

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