Musings on Faith #49
Show your children you love them!
It has long been a particular burden of mine that so many among us, in childhood, and often flowing into adulthood, have not experienced the simple act of a hug from their parents, or received the greatest words of affirmation, "I love you", from those same parents. A study of history reveals that this was a common condition in ages past, right up through the first half of the Twentieth Century, and I find that it remains all too common even today. Why would a parent not hug a child and say "I love you" on a continual basis, thereby affirming the child in who they are and of their own inherent self-worth? Generally it is because they, as children, also were not hugged and told that they were loved. It is thus passed on, in far too many families, from generation to generation. The reproach often given to hugging and expressing love for our children is that this is a recent phenomenon, and that it will make our children weak. It is a recent phenomenon for a great preponderance of our ancestors. However, as a student of history I have found countless examples to the contrary, even in "stiff upper lip" Victorian England, and in Victorian America. And I have found that those children who were given this love and affection were often great achievers, quite self-possessed, and very likely to become men and women who ‘gave back’ to their Country and community.

All the emphasis on a strict and formal upbringing, bereft of warmth, expressions of 
love, and physical affection, were looked upon as somehow belonging to the Christian faith. I can recall how solemn and dour were the old ladies in my Church as a child! They thought that this was the proper aspect for a worshiper in God’s house! How at variance with the Scriptures, which teach us that, in all circumstances, we are to have joy, and rejoice in the Lord! Reflecting on all of this over the past few days, it suddenly occurred to me that Jesus Christ Himself provides the Word and the example refuting this perverse idea of raising a child without hugs and heartfelt expressions of "I love you". Two examples are sufficient to refute attributing such coldness to a proper ‘Christian’ upbringing: The one that first comes to mind is the story of the Prodigal Son, and in particular the verse which says "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him (Luke 15:20, NIV)." And then the example which Jesus demonstrated in His own relationship with children: "Let the little children come to me (Luke 18:16a, NIV)." And do you not think that He sat them upon His lap, and hugged and kissed them? And remember, too, that one of the three people Jesus raised from the dead was a little girl, the daughter of Jairus (Luke 8:49-56)! Hug and kiss your children and grandchildren! Tell them you love them!

Yours in Christ, Tom Woodard
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